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Oliver’s Sweater

January 9, 2012

The one thing I don’t talk much about on this blog is Oliver. I don’t know if that will change at some point, but I kind of doubt it….it’s not easy to dive into the “sad” and then back to the “happy” without missing a beat – and really, we live far more in the happy than the sad anyway.

Oliver was our second baby, born between Anika and Sam in 2009. It was a complicated pregnancy, and he was born early – not too early in the grand scheme of things, but early enough that when he caught an infection in the NICU, he wasn’t big enough to fight it off. We lost him at 6 days old.

It’s never not sad….but it’s our reality and we’ve managed to integrate it into part of who we are. Oliver is part of our testimony – possibly the strongest one that we have – and we know that he’s waiting for us in heaven and that we’ll be together again one day.

When I was on bed rest with him, I started working on a sweater for him. I could knit well enough lying down, and it was really nice to have something tangible to do for him – something I could imagine him wearing the next year.

Obviously afterwards I didn’t exactly rush back to pick up the needles….it sat in my unfinished pile for a long time.

But then Sammo came along, and after awhile my mom asked if she could take O’s sweater and finish it for Sam.

I was delighted – I love the sweater, and I wanted Sam to wear it, even though I hadn’t quite found the energy to pick up the needles and finish it myself.

So my mom took it, and she finished it for him. And now Sam is wearing it.

It’s perfect on him, and perfect FOR him with his deep love of animals.

(He’s telling you what the seal says in case it’s not clear – “Ork! Ork! Ork!”).

I love this little sweater. I love how it looks on Sam, and I love that it’s a connection to the big brother he doesn’t even know about yet. I love that it’s being worn, and played in – just like I imagined when I was making it. Maybe not on the same kid, but you know….that’s just how it goes sometimes I guess.

The sweater pattern is from the Jimmy Beans wool site – http://www.jimmybeanswool.com/freeKnittingPatternPondemonium.asp. As I recall it was a fun and pretty straightforward knit!

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. January 9, 2012 2:36 pm

    Well hello there Sammo…your gran had a great time finishing Oliver’s sweater and I think it was a little cathartic. Can you say “cathartic”? You look great in it…love the ducks!!

  2. Cal Morton permalink
    January 9, 2012 3:05 pm

    It was a happy day for me, when you said I could finish it – it is truly adorable on Sam! (Next time I see him, remind me to move that one lilypad to his actual elbow…:)

  3. January 9, 2012 3:14 pm

    That sweater is so CUTE! At first glance I thought you’d made a Frogger sweater 🙂

  4. Suanne C. St. Charles permalink
    January 9, 2012 3:22 pm

    Looks adorable on him. Love all the deep colours – and the animals.

  5. Kim permalink
    January 10, 2012 12:44 am

    I remember seeing Sammo wearing it in London this Christmas and it immediately brought me back to your bed rest days – when you were just starting it. Amazing that Sam could have it, Christy. Once he knows Oliver’s story he is going to cherish that connection to him…. much love!

  6. January 10, 2012 11:46 am

    Oh Christy…..my thoughts are with you. You are so strong my dear. I’m so glad your mom finished that sweater. I’m sure Oliver is watching from above smiling and feeling proud. He’s always with you…remember that.

    The sweater is so adorable and Sam looks so sweet in it! Thanks for sharing such a touching post.

    xoxoxoxo

    • January 11, 2012 12:43 pm

      Thanks Shannon – we’re good. I am so happy my mom finished the sweater too; I really love it. I also love that it’s part of both of them now. Amazing.

  7. Catherine W permalink
    January 10, 2012 4:25 pm

    Oh and now I’m crying.

    That sweater is absolutely gorgeous, you and your mom are very talented! It’s so special, that Sam can wear something that kind of ‘belongs’ to Oliver. So much love went into it too, for Oliver and for Sammo. I just love the lily pad detail on the elbows! Beyond sweet!

    When I was pregnant with the twins, I bought them two different little cardigans (note bought, not knitted sadly) and when they were born, I immediately knew which cardigan which belonged to which girl. Sadly, the same little girl ended up wearing them both but it made me feel good when she wore the one that I had intended for her sister. That connection between them. And yes, that it was worn and played in. You’ve described it so well.

    Going to go and continue my little sob now.

    • January 11, 2012 12:45 pm

      Aw sweetie – you are so very lovely. I’m sure the girls’ cardigans are beautiful and I’m glad that J wore both of them. It’s a good thing. Hand me downs! Kind of! xoxo

  8. January 11, 2012 9:00 am

    I just want to hug that sweater. And the kid(s) in it. xo

    • January 11, 2012 12:45 pm

      You can hug the sweater! Is very huggable. You can also hug the kid, if you can find him. He moves a lot ;).

  9. Hubby permalink
    January 11, 2012 9:28 am

    Le sigh. Happy sigh though. It’s perfect on him. Ork, ork indeed 😉

  10. Angela permalink
    January 11, 2012 10:06 pm

    You and your mom did such a great job on the sweater, Christy. Sam looks so very cute in it:o) I’m so glad you were both able to do this for Oliver and Sam.

  11. January 17, 2012 10:40 pm

    Wow, I’m honored that the sweater played a part in your story. I’m so glad it was completed, and little Sam looks adorable.

  12. Maryann permalink
    January 23, 2012 2:34 pm

    Loved seeing Sam in this sweater on Sunday, Christy! Maryann

    • January 24, 2012 2:37 pm

      Thanks Maryann!! I really appreciate you guys being able to share in his story that way…thank you!

  13. January 27, 2012 7:47 pm

    a tear & a smile… what a beautiful story! i love sweaters that tell stories, tell testimonies. you are an incredible mother… strong, confident, honest, brave… made of all the good stuff! Anika, Oliver & Sam are just so blessed to call you mom. xo

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