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The Things You Do For Love.

May 24, 2012

Sam and I went for a walk/tricycle ride this morning. It took a really long time. Would you like to know why? It is because every time we passed an ant on the sidewalk, Sam needed to investigate. It went like this:

Sam: “BEEE!! BEE! SEE BEE!!!” (squatting down on the sidewalk to get a closer look, then LYING DOWN because he wasn’t close enough to investigate properly).

Sam: “BEE! See bee! MAMA! See? BEEEEEE!”

Me: “Yes Sam, that’s a bee. No, actually that’s an ant. But yes! Exciting. Can we keep going now?”

Sam: “Yep! Byeee! BYEEE! BYE BEEEE!!!!”

Stand up, walk six inches, spy another ant, repeat. I thought I was never coming home.

(Forgive lousy camera phone photo).

But! That is not what this post is about. What this post is about is the incredible amount of love I have for my husband. My magnificent wonderful husband. My beloved, who very nicely asked me oh, about two months ago whether I, his devoted and loving wife, would consider playing on a coed recreational soccer team with him this summer.

I laughed. And said OH HECK NO. Because here is a thing about me. I am not so much with the team sports. I am, in fact, scared stiff by them. I’m utterly horrified by the idea that I will screw up or even not screw up but do SOMETHING that will draw attention to myself. And then I am afraid that someone will yell at me and then I will cry because I am a girl and girls do that. Team sports terrify me. Literally, when I play them my whole entire goal – ENTIRE goal – is to basically get on the field or ice or whatever and run/skate around enough that I can keep up with people but ideally I will not get ANYWHERE near the ball or puck. I will simply get on the field, run around, and draw no attention to myself.

So. We all had a good chuckle about the soccer thing and moved on. Or I did at any rate. But then Brandon asked a few more times. And then he must have caught me at a moment of weakness or something, and I apparently agreed. (Come to think of it, I can’t actually remember saying yes. But somehow I am now signed up. I DO remember him promising me new shoes.)

We went shopping for stuff last night. Our first game is tomorrow night. I am blindly terrified.

Because I love you people, I present to you the anatomy of a terrified soccer player.

HOT. I KNOW.

Secretly, in my head, when I play soccer I look something like this:

Yeah, okay. I KNOW that’s Mia Hamm. BUT STILL.

Sadly, I’m pretty sure that when I play soccer I actually look like this.

And you know, that might be fine IF the ball happened to be anywhere near me when I looked like that. But as my whole entire goal is to stay the heck AWAY from the ball, I can say quite confidently that the ball will not be near me.

Not pretty friends. Not pretty.

If you are the praying type then GOOD GRAVY people, pray for me. If you are not the praying type, hook a sister up with some red wine will you???

See you on the flip side.

 

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. Hubby permalink
    May 24, 2012 1:55 pm

    Oooh! Hahaha! I just had to apologize to my co-workers for laughing out loud for a good period of time. Firstly, the soccer outfit is wonderful. Secondly, you had some pretty good moments playing hockey (I’m sure you will say they were inadvertent). Thirdly, bravo to you for overcoming your aversion to team sports. Remind me to bring a camera tomorrow. We’ll let Ani document our match 😉

    And of course, your love for me is unquestionable =D

  2. May 24, 2012 6:56 pm

    hee hee. love it! can’t wait to hear how the first game goes!
    you rock!

  3. Sarah permalink
    May 24, 2012 10:47 pm

    LOVE the socks! 😉

    (Also, really love Sam’s hat in that first pic!)

  4. May 25, 2012 1:59 pm

    OMG,,,,,hilarious!! I just spit out my coffee laughing! You are too funny girl! i bet you’ll do awesome and have lots of fun! If not…I’ll have a virtual glass of wine waiting for ya!

    P.s. You look pretty darn good in that outfit!!! wahoo!

  5. Kim permalink
    May 25, 2012 4:37 pm

    x2 for spitting out my coffee laughing! lol it is sooo good – your description of team sports is the best!! Pleasepleaseplease someone videotape your game! Or at least have a game when Timmer’s is there so that he can tape it. Speaking of Timmer’s – be glad he is not playing against you – last time I saw him play I watched a girl run into him and bounce back a good meter…he tries so hard!
    Side note: good colour choice for socks! =)

  6. Angela permalink
    May 26, 2012 1:26 am

    You are brave and I am praying for you, that is all.;0) JK! I hope the game went well tonight!

  7. May 26, 2012 2:36 pm

    I expect a full report of your soccer match, including all Mia Hamm moments! Have fun, if nothing else it’ll be good excercise.;)

  8. May 28, 2012 9:15 am

    AHAHAHAHAahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. You are so much braver than me on the team sports front, always have been!! Maybe it’s because your competitive streak is something to be reckoned with?? I love this… love the outfit. Do I need to get you a new Lulu tanktop? 😀 p.s. Jeff bought me running shorts and a dri-fit shirt for running, so I gots to get my run on and SOON!!!!

  9. Lisa permalink
    May 31, 2012 8:31 pm

    You did great! And, lucky for you, the sock choice was PERFECT. You matched the team shirt beautifully. 🙂

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